I pick apart pieces of me until I fall apart.
Sleeping in filth
Wrapped in sheets of shattered guilt
Scabs begging to heal
But with eager nails I pick and peel
Dig and peel
Dig and kneel to worship everything else
Except for myself.
I pray to gods made of the dirt that I lay in
And I speak their many tongues
I taste and I bite
I chew your words but refuse to swallow your pride
– selfish me I am always at the beginning of sentences even though I am too busy writing scripts for everyone
You broke me before I broke me and
I wish I did the breaking first because then
I could’ve swallowed the truth in your words.
But instead, I chewed on them with wrath.
I spit them out instead and watched them waste away in a deep void of resentment.
You were once a new wound.
Brand new but you hurt me like a bitch
And tried to heal too quick
A wound that I was never familiar with, never had closure with.
So excuse me while I kneel again
And peel and pick
With eager nails.